Being a Pitch Wars mentor means reading many, many, many submissions. This can be a query and a few pages, or straight through a full novel. I’m looking for something that grabs me and refuses to let go.
I also notice some trends. This is true for anyone who reads multiple submissions. Certain trends, be it themes or weaknesses pop up. It’s actually a great learning tool and I encourage people to consider intern reading positions when possible.
As a mentor, I’m not looking for something perfect, I’m looking for something I can fix. And across a lot of my subs, both from what I requested and not, I started to see a pattern. I want to mention this here, because I’m only going to be able to help two authors, but if I put it here maybe I can help more.
And to be clear, this does not mean you have the problem, this does mean that it’s worth looking into to strengthen your story.
So what’s this problem? Get to the point already, right? Exactly. I’m noticing stories with lagging beginnings. Stories that I feel take too long to set up the plot, or too long to get to the point.
The story starts on page one. From page one the author needs to grab the reader and pull them along. Yes, there are slower moments needed and there’s backstory and set up required, but check yourself. Limit it to only what’s needed.
I think a lot of this stems from the earlier drafts, when the writer themselves is getting to know the story. This doesn’t mean these words are bad. It does mean that some of them might be more for the writer than the reader.
I don’t have a magic formula here, because every novel is different. This is where beta readers and critique partners are great, they can point out lagging areas and help show a writer where they need to tighten the plot.
Another way of looking at this stems from the query. If a query mentions this kickass plot point early on, and in reading the novel it takes forever to get to this point, then something is off and not working. There needs to be an early hook that grabs the reader, not just a later hook that needs far too much development. (Again, your mileage may vary, each story is different.) Perhaps this means the query is focusing on the wrong part of the story. But often times when a writer works out a query or synopsis, those devices can show potential weak areas of a story and start a needed revision.
Writers, check out your novels. How long does it take for the main plot to get moving? And I don’t mean set up, I mean in action. If I read a query about a Zombie orgy on the planet Mars, and the story begins with the orgy members slowly meeting and developing a bond over a bowl of brains, I’m going to be itching to get them to Mars and to that orgy! That’s why I picked up the book!
I think this is especially important for authors who are starting out. If Stephen King or Nora Roberts writes a novel that starts out slow, the readers already know where the payoff will be, they will gladly follow along, waiting for things to pick up. But a no name Susie Smith hasn’t already made those promises to the reader. The opening words are those promise and that promise needs to start ASAP, otherwise Susie’s book is going back on the shelf.
Here’s a revision tip for all: check out that opening and build up to the plot. Make it tighter. Even if the story isn’t lagging, there’s usually some tightening that can be done to make things stronger.
There are two main ways one can view hearing loss. On the surface they are as a disability or as a linguistic minority. The differences go much deeper than that but the bottom line is that one side is not happy to have a hearing loss and would prefer to be hearing, the other side is happy as is.
I’m part of that second group. I’m happy as is. But that came after years of not being happy, of not liking my “impairment.” I get both sides but I no longer have any desire to be fixed.
Others don’t always know this. And that’s fine. But I ran into a funny situation on my Instagram feed. I’ll show you the picture first, let’s see if you can figure it out:
Now, that’s a cover of my second book with Avon, where the cover artist did an amazing job adding a hearing aid to my male character. That character is Devon and he identifies as Deaf. He does wear hearing aids, because he has some usable hearing and feels he benefits from maximizing that. There are many people out there like him.
The quote, however, talks about a “healthy lifestyle.” Now, Devon has a thing for boxing, but I don’t think that’s what the poster means. I clicked on their account and found out, not to much surprise, that they are a hearing device company.
Ignoring the healthy bit for a moment, I find it odd that they chose my book cover, when just a day prior to their comment I posted a picture of myself getting fitted for a new hearing aid mold. Surely that would be a better match for a “healthy” lifestyle, wouldn’t it?
Back to the “healthy” bit. My health has nothing to do with my ears. In fact, regardless of how one views their hearing loss, their physical health is a separate entity all together. Hearing health? Sure, I’ll buy that for those that look at things in that light. But health in general? Nope.
This stems back to the beginning notion, how one views hearing loss. This company steps into my world, where I celebrate ASL and hearing loss and love my ears as they are, and proclaims that I am not healthy without my hearing aids. That I’m doing a good job by wearing them. Well, quite frankly, that makes me want to rip off my hearing aids and turn off my voice. And if I did, guess what? I’d still be healthy. (Or as healthy as my physical health is.)
This assumption from those that work with assistive listening devices always rubs me the wrong way. I love my audiologist, because I found a place that accepts me as I am. That respects that I want to maximize my ability to hear, but I’m not interested in correcting or going above and beyond. My right ear is deaf, it will always be deaf. It’s not a problem, it’s not a negative, it’s an is. In fact, because of that ear changing I have learned so much about myself, understood so much about hearing loss, that if anyone offered me a magic pill to fix it I’d refuse. Or I’d see if it works for getting back to my wedding weight and fixing my turned knee. But not my ears.
This isn’t the first time a hearing professional has stepped into my world with their audist views and smothered me with it. It won’t be the last. But to enter on a book cover…huh? I mean, have you read the book? Because my main characters are strong Deafies who don’t care to hear.
Company, you picked the wrong tree to bark on. And your comment makes no sense. My next hearing related post will be of this nature: look at the awesome color of my new hearing aid mold! Not: I can hear so much better now! Because that’s not how I roll. That’s not who I am.
The hearing world tried to make me ashamed of my hearing loss. They worked at “fixing” me. It took my own personal journey to understand I didn’t need to be fixed. So don’t bring that attitude into my world without an invitation. Don’t spread that attitude to my readers. Because my readers who have hearing loss, they are fine as they are. Whether they are deaf or hard of hearing. Whether they don’t care about hearing sounds or want to gain "normal" ranges. Whatever their personal views are of their ears are perfectly fine. It’s not up to me to make those decisions. All I’m going to do is tell them they are fine the way they are and support them if they feel differently. Because I’ve been there, I get it.
I also get that outsiders, even some of those in our world in a professional capacity, don’t understand. And it’s not because they can’t, it’s because they refuse to.
If this company is reading, I hope you’ve learned something. And I hope you will tread more carefully in the future. You might have tools that I could benefit from. I won’t be. I’ll find other options that matches my beliefs.
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